In long desert, infinite desert, while walking I saw the mirage. Something like that happened to me today. The best thing is that my mirage was actually oasis. Very small but very sweet.

That Oasis was a mail from MJ. He shares birthday with Michael Jackson, like I do. So MJ is good name. But only for now coz it is not the best name. Before you ask let me tell you MJ is my birthday brother I referred earlier as Aiyla. I told you I did not like the name much.

I wanted to forward a mail form old colleague and friend to another colleague about position in India. But in error I copied MJ as he has the same name as my old colleague. MJ replied back saying something is wrong. He very well understood what was wrong, but as always MJ was himself. Well, I am not different I acted my normal self replied back with romantic line. I am not explaining anything now, I have done it in past

What ever I do, I find you. Yeah that was my reply short & sweet; and MJ at his best made my day later. Gave me the oasis. After bidding adieu to JP night before I was not in best of the spirit and for sometime felt little deserted.

What followed was chain of emails from this side of table to other side. Like Ping Pong ball in Balls of Fury. I am posting those emails here.

From MJ:

I heard these days you are talking a lot to Akki. (Common acquaintance.)

Uncle, what is plan? Btw, she is good girl, and u will stay happy with him. Trust me.

Think over it, and let me know. Mean while I will ask her. I will be blessed to set you up. I have opened a marriage bureau for both of you.

From Uncle Teja (Me):

Jerk, you will teach your father how to walk? Good. Btw I was talking her out and was trying to hook her up with you.

And you thought of setting me up with a gal now? After I left Pune. If you would have done that before I would have been blessed by your good deed and married by now.

From MJ:

Stop swearing and tell me if you want me to do the job. And stop worrying about me, my parents are already looking for a gal. And they know what I want.

[The real fun start from here. As MJ turns creative.]

You do not need to worry about me. Do something for yourself. Please do something. If you cannot go, let me know, I will go for tea.

[Generally in India when boy and girl meet (obviously with family around), they meet over the tea. So it is lighter way of saying that you went over a tea, when you go to meet a girl]

Think, a scene from Sholey. I am drinking tea at her place and to her mother, praising.

“Mausiji, Ken (me) bahot achha ladka hai. haan, kabhi kabhi daaru pita hai, lekin aaj kal kaun IT wala daaru nahi pita? Aur aap ki ladki ke dad ko bhi roj shaam ko company mil jayegi. Rahi baaki ki aadatein, to ab mein apne chote muh se itni badi baatein kya karu? Racing, matka, gambling, to main bol bhi nahi sakta. Warna aap ko bataya hota. Lekin ladka lakhon mein ek hai. To mein rishta pakka samjoon?”

How did u found this?

Btw, I could have become good writer. Unfortunately I have to pay the bills. [Papi pet ka sawal hai]

From Uncle Teja:

Good. Very good. Girl anyway mom dad are looking for me. But you can try your luck as well.

Btw, you can still become author. You can write a book on life of IT folks. Write something like Fountainhead. You will never have to work after that. What name will keep for the book? Brainheads or Pigheads?

From MJ:

First book will be of short stories. Named The miraculous “Paddy Fattu and Maddy Dhating and their Adventures”.

Next will be a guide book for all professional course students for last year. Named “How not to enter in IT, and get going better”.

Third will a PhD thesis on “How people in IT duck for several years, lose all their life in front of single machine and still be called successful”.

The fourth will be a big book novel named “The Chronicles of IT India”.
Part One “The Developers, The Machines and The Bugs”.
Part Two “The Project, The onsite and The PD”.
Part three “The PM, The PL, The TL and The Chaos”.
Part four “The Developer and The Long Died Hope”.

[Paddy and Maddy are two managers from last company, where MJ is still working and who gave me nightmares. They are arch enemies as of now]

I am not interested in writing any non-fiction since there is no reality in IT. Everything is so virtual.

The names you have suggested are the stages through which the IT developer goes in first 5 years and then remains dead brain cells. This will be covered in PhD thesis. I have planned these books. Let me know if you liked the themes. You can help me in developing the draft, editing the books. I will take care of the proofreading since we can make the bench work for that.

[Was it shock? Well for me too. I could not stop laughing and rolling. That's MJ for you]

From Uncle Teja:

Marvelous. That is what I can say to start with. I mean this is absolute and original creativity. Only the genius like you can think of all this. Only for coming up with all the titles, I am sure, people will pay you royalties. Go and register them right away. I love all the titles. I think equally.

I will do any damn job, as long as you allow me to work on all these books. Reading drafts proof reading, creating drafts, bringing tea for you while you are writing.. anything.

I m tired of IT, and I think this will be best job outside IT.

Thank you for letting me in, in advance.

From MJ:

You are always welcome. There is no project of mine that will be completed without you.

If you know the procedure of registering the names for the books, please register it by the name of both of us. Because this mammoth task will take a great toll.

These will be more sensational than the “Jinnah: India, Partition – Independence” book. And the books will go worldwide. (Global IT world)

Also, We have a definite reader group between age group 20 to 220 (if ever any IT developer had lived that long).

This means that there is at least one opportunity for us to be famous.

Of course, like the “Jinnah: India, Partition – Independence” book, these books will also hit many individuals on face, but what can we do for that?

After all, Fictions are Fictions.

Also, put your ideas on the table. We can have discussions online.

Ken, I am on HIGH today. There are 1000 ideas swarming in my head. I must write them all one by one or I will lose them all till tomorrow.

From Uncle Teja:

MJ,

Wow!! I am glad. I got one very good news today. Among many other fantasies and dreams I had for my life, the latest was to become writer. Today I am feeling like it will come true. For sure. Partially it has materialized. I have blog and I write for free. I have one very loyal reader as well.

About registration let me to do some research and find cost as well. I fully agree that they will be sensation among 4-5 lac Indian IT professionals if nothing worldwide. We will be famous, sensation and celebrity.

I do not care how many people get it on the face as long as we are honest and truthful about what we write. If we are dishonest or untruthful, then we should be funny. Stay high on for longer, the rewards will be enormous.

You have given me a fantastic idea for new post. I hope you would not mind quoting you.

Regards,
Ken

Wow!! I cannot believe that I had time for this conversation in my busy day. I think I am not busy, I am acting like one. But who cares I am getting paid for that. The day they will find they will send me back to India, and that will be my best day. I need to stop here, otherwise this will be never ending and infinite post like the desert. You might not get lucky to find oasis. MJ has given me another idea with basic draft. I have similar thought running in my mind for few days. Will start working on that post as well. MJ, I am not going to drop it. Do not worry. Just tired and Jeffery Archer is calling me for Not a Penny More and Not a Penny Less.

From You:

I need to do something to keep posting more regularly. I wish posting from cell phone was cheap and convenient. Currently it is neither of them. Nonetheless, let me be abrupt at least.

I am finally settled in the place now. Singapore. I must say it is not as cosmopolitan as I had thought and as my friends propagated to me. Hmnn .. No problem I am here and will learn to enjoy this place.

Basic facts. I have an apartment, non-typical HDB. A good house. Water, gas, electricity working & running. Internet connection activated with free phone and unlimited locals. No cable TV. We have decided to save S$30 a month. We includes my two colleagues, my boss and RK. They are roommates as well in this 3 bedroom HDB. Rent of S$ 2400 is little higher than what we had intend to pay. I am sure you are not interested in these details. But I need to hone my skills to write something better.

Ohh.. I forgot. I have cell phone connection now. Account opened with Citibank. Interesting story here as well. But later.

This is just beginning from break. Lot of people are asking me about my GTalk status. 6 months. Keep in mind. I wish to go back to India in six months. That is what I mean. And I need to keep that in mind. No matter what. It is one of those my theories from secret. (There is a post on this. Check out. I am sure you will like this.)

This is first weekend which is really a weekend. We went to Clark Quay on Friday. I had some Indian snacks and Classic Majito from Cuba. RK had some local seafood dishes. Liked none. I was more than happy to be non-experimental.

Started Saturday with (the) important payroll meeting. Bought tickets for movie for 6:20 show. Public Enemies, staring Johnny Depp and Christian Bale. I like them both. Michael Mann was director. It was disappointing experience for three of us. Later had view of Harborfront from top of Vivo City mall. Ohh, forgot to mention that I did not miss temple on Saturday.

Found an Interesting place at the top of the mall. Where everything is sold for two $$. Yes S$2. Bought 40 items. Cups, bowls, silverware, containers, and some other non-sense. Boss and me do want to stay for longer than six months but does not want to live here like miser as well.

This is my perfect Sunday. Got up at seven. I was dreaming something or may be my sub-conscious was thinking something abrupt at 5. It is being like this for few days I guess. Boss says it means I am not really happy here. I was not earlier. Now I am lot better. Physically started accepting this change.

What better do on Sunday than blog, poke friends on Facebook, download some photos from Internet and create library on my Mac? Is there anything better to do? RK preparing drumstick curry, I had kept rice in cooker. Before publishing in between I had cut rock-melon. I love them. Post lunch planning to go to Bughis street shopping with no money in pocket.

Before going to bed on Saturday, I called Aiyla. My birthday brother. Need to find better name for you dude. It was nice talking to him. Voice and sound has more feeling than words I guess. Multimedia. Thank you for the sweet email. I owe you a reply. Now Uncle Teja is really missing you.

It is lot haan.. In few minutes. Please comment. I need them. I need to improve my score. One more good news, one of my post fetched 100 comments. Hurry. Perseverance paid of.

Alta-la-visa friends. I will catch up later.

Other day over the lunch Pa asked me a difficult question. Pa is my roomie and like a young brother (in fact he respects me like elder brother). He asked me how I am so confident? I think he wanted to know how do one stay confident? Pa’s real concern is definitely for his career.

I did continue to ponder over it for a while. I did told him something which was irrelevant. I said it because I had to say something. Honestly no good answer really clicked. I started having doubt on self and Pa’s confidence that I am confident. I fumbled for a while, shuffled pages of dictionary to find that meaning and answer.

I did get my answer finally. I am not sure if this is the answer Pa is looking for. To me confidence is to know what I (you) know, what I can do, what I can achieve. It is also important to know what I do not know, what I cannot do, and what I cannot achieve. Basically self-awareness is the key here.

Being confident also means being positive. Having belief in yourself, your existence and having sense of purpose. It is very important to feel good about yourself. I would recommend a dose of self-indulgence. Being content from within and enjoying every moment of your life.

 

Keeping smile on doomsday is confidence to me. Fighting your fear is confidence for me. Saying no to things you do not want to do makes you a confident person. In a way I say it is that power within yourself which allows you to chart path of your life. Walking with your head high. From where this power comes? It comes from knowledge, it comes with skills, earn it with hard work, from your desire to strive, from tolerance and your ability to sacrifice.

We need to make choices in life. We need to set the priorities for every day, week, month, and moment of life. This priorities will change, shift, new will appear and old will disappear from your list. You also need to make list of your values. It includes your faith, your family, your friends, your dreams and desires, money, career/work, fun, and all such things which you think are important for your survival. These two list must work in tandem. I would say in most of part of your life your values will not change. Not even the order of them. But priorities will keep realigning itself with change in time.

I am talking about this sacrifice here. Sacrificing item of low priority for one at the top. How you balance yourself among these two tangents of life will give you what you are looking for in life. Confidence!

Last Saturday, a old friend took me to Worli Sea Face. The place require no introduction to most Mumbaikars. For years we had been hanging out in suburb Ghatkopar; A home to my school, college, and place where I made all my childhood and teenage friends. For no reason this is the place where I find myself most comfortable. Sachin told me that instead meeting in Ghatkopar let us meet somewhere else; he was tired of meeting and eating in Ghatkopar.

Generally I do not oblige to such ideas. But I have not met him long, in fact had ignored him for long. Hence decided to surrender, in fact I was more than happy to oblige as he was going to drive me to what ever place outside Ghatkopar he wanted to go. In last two years, it is rare that I left Ghatkopar when ever I was in Mumbai. I am happy I did leave this Saturday.

For most time we spent together I had very little to talk about. In the midst of Global Economic Slowdown and Financial tumble, professionally I am not doing any thing great apart from playing carom in office. Even before the markets crashed my company had shown signs that it is miss-managed and reigns the company were not in safe hands. We had mishaps one after another. To add to frustration, price of $ in country hit the bottom for small period. I knew sooner or later we will fall, will be sold, acquired and our name will be lost forever.

Most of my friends advised me to leave the sinking ship, I thought I should, but unfortunately I could not think of any place to go. I have open offers from friends to join, but I doubt if they will match my salary. Even if they match, what about the repute I have build here in last 2 years, what about freedom I enjoy, in IT not many people gets to choose and pick their projects, deny onsite/overseas travel and enjoy the tag of best in business. I would have left all this for safe abode, but all these offers and opportunities are far away from Mumbai, and my current home Pune. I do not have courage any more to leave these palaces. There was time when I had no choice, I was dragged to Hyderabad, the city I called hell then. Today it is heaven, but I do not want to die right now.

It is being long since I enjoyed the sound of silence. I heard it in Hyderabad’s Durgam Cheruvu Lake and Sydney’s Darling Harbor. I heard on the Ghats of Lonavala and Khandala, I heard it at the water falls of Niagara and heads of high smoky mountains. It was there in hills of Mahabaleshwar. Sachin did most of talking, and I continued ignoring what he was saying. He spoke in length about his career in family business and arbitration. He talks about this every time we met after college. Sometime I feel that he enjoys sulking while I am around, and no one else. With most others he is happy as he never was. But this time he sounded much positive in the story narrated earlier thousand times.

For long time now, I am sulking as well. The only reason that there is nothing really happening in my life or is it that I am not trying really hard for anything to happen. In fact I am not aware what exactly I want to happen in my life. I have everything a content men would need, family, home, a job, and friends. I think most my friends are right; I should get married, if nothing, it will turn my life upside down and for sometime I would be lost in that chaos. I think this sound of silence which I was enjoying was illusion. Was it hollowness that needs to be filled? Is it absolute idle state of mind which needs something to focus on, or is plain regret that I am not able to make everybody happy, especially my loved ones. There was time when I used to be too eager to meet my friends; I had skip a dinner just to get the glimpse of them. Today I am afraid of the same people, intentionally or unintentionally I end up ignoring and avoiding them.

I know this is just another of those low phase in life when the morale hit bottom. It will pass on like the previous editions. I have this unmatched and ubiquitous ability to bring my chips down for no good reason. While everything in life is so good, I am feeling like looser, feeling like everything I have is useless, and everything I do not have are only important things in life. I think I only thing I need now is change.

Let is move towards chaos from silence.

Ask – Believe – Receive

Yes this is secret to happiness, wealth, love and all you wanted in your life according to this book by Rhonda Byrne. Yeah, this is a three step process to get all those things you ever dreamt and desired. Rhonda Byrne and many happy, healthy and wealthy folks (in her book) like her have reiterated zillion times that this is the only secret to life. Law of Attraction forms the basis for her book and all the people she named in the book claim that it works in your favor if you use the way she said and these people did.

In Alchemist Paulo Coelho said the same thing with amazing play of words and poetry. I loved it to the core. But primary difference between a Brazilian and his Australian counter part is putting in effort, the hard work, the endeavor and the exertion. Paulo says follow your dreams. Do what it takes to achieve what you want, and you have always dreamt. The whole universe will work towards achieving that for you.

“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

Like in Om Shanti Om Shahrukh Khan mugged it to Hindi version, “Kehte hain agar kisi cheez ko agar dil se chaho to saari kayanath tumhe usse milane ki koshish me lag jaati hai”

But according Rhonda and her friends; there is noting you do to get what you want. Just Ask. Keep Faith (Believe). And receive. Just live your life as you have always done. Change your thoughts, your style, your behavior and you are done. Leave rest to the universe. Like if you want marry and living in the house with two car garage, always park your car to one side and leave space for your to be spouse.

If you want money, give money, believe in charity. Feel and be grateful that you have plenty of it and money will come to you.

The irksome thing I found with book is your uselessness. It kind of gives you feeling that you are there only to consume, to get, and guzzle. There is no larger purpose to your life in this universe.

She agrees that it is being and acting like selfish to the core. Her justification says universe will react to your thoughts, your desires and dreams. You can not desire for others, you can not dream for others. Only thing you can do to make other people rich is dream for more money and share. Ask for money in abundance and create wealth for the world.

The Alchemist not only achieved what he always kept dreaming but in his path to his fortune he helped other people achieve their dreams. He acted as mean or aided others to in their path to their glory and success.

I personally think life and universe want you to get what you desire and what you dream. It works towards your goals and your needs if you believe in it and be gracious to it. In nutshell be buoyant and be optimistic.

Be grateful to life and keep working towards it. Your life is your dream, your life is your endeavor to get what you dream of and this universe is your play ground. It is meant for you to play the game of life.

Just asking, believing and receiving is not life, at least not for me. It is the endeavor and adventure that counts for me.

Mark your presence, say something; just don’t read

6 years. On June 13 I had left home to work with company in Pune. It was my first job as computer programmer. I had done couple of small stints with uncles, cousins and dad. One with my uncle was fun. With cousin it was painstaking accountancy job. Amazingly boring. Data entry, debits and credits, phone calls and businessmen all around. Sounds dud haan?

With dad it was kind of strange. My job was that of caretaker. Go open the shop till he comes. Customer never came to us; my dad was salesman on the go. Mumbai trotter (Globe trotter) kind.

Leaving Mumbai was easy, I always loved the city I was born and raised. But I never had such great affinity as I have today. It is so true; a human being never values what he has. He is always in search of something different and new.

After living in 4 different cities, and 2 different continents today I miss Mumbai more than anything else. When I say Mumbai, I am talking about my family, extended family, and extra extended family. My few friends; very few. I do not even need fingers to count them, forget about tips.

One thing which always accompanied me since I left home was loneliness. I made many friends; some of them are great pals. These people really gave me sense of friendship and kinship; what friends are. But my loneliness never left me. She/he (what sounds better) is always walking with him, flying with me, riding with me, and sleeping besides me. Now I want to call it “she” for sure.

6 years. It was great journey. A hell of ride. I learnt about life, about people, about devils, and demons, about angels and about me, myself and Irene. Who is Irene? It should be me, myself and loneliness.

I said leaving Mumbai was easy; it was not because I did not like it much. I had bigger excitement of new job. Later I got addicted to my freedom and still not fully out of it. Philosophy says you can not be happy forever; you will have to give it up some day. One thing I must say; freedom is one side of coin. Other is my dear loneliness.

I think I can go on about my story, philosophy and psychology. I must stop here. I am back after long time and do not want my come back to be dragged brag. Okie Dokiee. Time to sign off.

Wanna say something?

Everyone has been raving about the testimonial on this page , a thought crossed my mind … why not write a testimonial for Ken … and what better place than his own blog … it should even give some new life to this page … and so I take advantage of having the privilege of posting here.

Ken … have known him for quite some time now … and a little better than I could possibly know anyone else in the given time frame … and that’s because he is one hell of a smooth talker … Words in itself are powerless, they can neither benefit or harm you unless someone has the fine ability to combine them to use it for good bad and evil expressions … and he has a knack at it … one of the few people I know who have their way with words.

A cool guy … a good human and a perfectionalist by nature. He has a bundle full of patience don’t know where it comes from . Someone who is helpful, analytic … and the best has a decent ability to laugh at himself … I mean take humor in the

right spirit (well almost). How can I forget his ability to argue … this being in the right spirit based on beliefs and fundas … that’s so entertaining . And ya just read the gyan in the form of quotes on the home page of this blog.

I agree to his statement “Its difficult to define simple things” and so For now I am happy to stop here … maybe I will come back with more … some other time.

I know it’s all too good … but the fact is if I start writing the other part this is going to be an endlessly long … or should I say a never ending post … so for now just wishing him all the love, luck, success , happiness and prosperity in life.

With my heart in my mouth; we boarded train to Nuremburg. It was late by twenty minutes. We got on bus to Opladen from office on time at 16:08 hrs. I saw my manager missing his bus back home. From Opladen we had to board a train to Cologne at 16:46. I am sure you are impatient while I am giving the account of each minute of this journey.

Believe me; I had jitters, goosebumps and all such feeling since I got on train to Cologne from Opladen. On Thursday I called up YMCA in Munich and I could book a twin room for €32.00 per night per person for two nights.

Once I knew I had place to spend night, I started looking for a cheap way to reach Munich. There was return flight for €200. But it was from Cologne airport and I had no clue on how to be there. Second option I thought was Thalys; but it does not travel between Cologne and Munich. Now the only option was to use ICE (InterCity Express); which will cost €178. It was okay; as this was the only option or we do not travel. It was expensive as next weekend we could have flew for €150.

The train to Cologne got delayed by long 45 minutes due to police inquiry in Cologne. We were to reach there by 05:05 pm, find a counter to buy a ticket to and from Munich. We reached at 15:45 hrs. We ran to counter to check if we can still board the train. Looking at long queue, we decided we will go to platform and see how the train looks like. And head back home with fool’s mug. Two minutes close to 17:53 hrs we were talking to station master about the status as there was no train on platform. At the back of my mind I was toying with idea; I have reservation; but I have not yet paid for ticket. Is it possible to pay on train?

Station master told me train is twenty minutes late. Immediate question was where to buy a ticket. He said on the train. Was there moment happier in near future? I doubled checked everything. A local guy helped me to have detailed conversation with station master. Now you must have understood why I was holding my breath.

Due to police investigation most trains from and through Cologne were late. Non-Deutsch passengers were struggling with stubborn station master and other DB staff to understand what is wrong, when and how should they travel now. We had most information but were still not sure what the hell is going to happen next. Koti asked me, Ken is it advisable to board the train in this hour of confusion and chaos. I said yes. Under normal circumstances and with rational mind nobody will travel. But I will. There was no way I am going back after all the fretfulness. This is good omen.

Runway to heaven

The Europe in Hindi movies was like a heaven. I know you want debate that Kashmir is. But we will do that later. I really thought that what Hindi movies show is trick of camera and not nature after spending few days in Burscheid. I was having this belief until I boarded the train to Munich. I really do not have enough words to describe. Imagine green mountains and river. Range of tiny hills and river floating in valley. I am not sure the ICE was running on the river, mountain or was it airborne.

Each house was made of cardboard and painted ivory to white and brown. It is kept neatly at the bank of the river and foot steps of hills. All hills and mountains are brushed with shades of olive, light green and tinge of dried red-brown cherries.

Freeway to hell

At around at 8 it was dark. We could not see anything outside. Till now we were basking on our coup that we made it. We are smart and intrepid. This was time when we came to know that we were running late. In India if train departs late by 1 hr or less; it makes up in next 3-4 hrs of journey.

I assumed this train will do the same. But it did not happen. We heard on-board controller that chances of missing connection at Nuremberg are high. They have requested train to wait but even it waits we will not be able to make it to YMCA by 00:30 hrs. At this hour they close. Koti and I are now discussing whether we should spend night at Munich station or YMCA door. I was searching for other hotels in vicinity of YMCA in my “Rough Guide to Germany.”

Stakes have never changed fast before in my life than today. We are running fast on way with risk of spending our night on streets of Munich. I even thought about what to say to cops in case we are caught. I gave suggestion to Koti that we will see Munich in the night and sleep on sat morning till noon. Start again later in afternoon.

[Sat and Sunday we spent in Munich and now we are on our way back home]

My mom would say “Kaye khote chogadiye nakaryawa gharethi? In which ill-fated hour of day did you guys left? It is wild and crude translation or should I say bad?

While I was trying to pen my experience in Munich on a train to Cologne; train stopped at some station where it was not supposed to. Most passengers looked slightly disguised and confused. As usual Koti and I just ignored the announcement. Before every station they tell about arrival & departure time, connections, etc. We knew where we want to go and how.

After little bewilderment of few fellow passengers Koti and I raised eyebrows. Both of us were real puzzled now. The lady next seat saw our puzzled mug and was kind enough to explain the situation in her broken English with mixed Deutsche. Something had gone wrong on route ahead with lights that brought all trains to a standstill.

The wave of mild electric magnitude passed through my veins. The ride to Munich was rough enough to give me jitters. She advised us to take train on next platform which was halted for a hour and leave before ours to Cologne. What would have happened if that lady was not kind when rail staff and system was not?

We have no clues on what is going on. A man and woman are chattering happily behind me; which is surprise for all. A girl in front of me is engrossed in latest Harry Potter. A old fellow in book and young man in his VAIO. Koti is in wonderland. I am trying to decipher Angels and Demons while intoxicating me self with verum.

We are at Stuttgart, two & half hours from Cologne. I just handed over the Angles and Demons to Koti. He is wondering what I am writing. I already told him that I blog and this is going to be my next post.

Per my plan; we were to leave Munich at 18:24, reach Mannheim at 21:28. Take a connection here at 21:33 which brings us to Mainz at 22:15. In five minutes we take train to Cologne and be there at 12 past midnight. After hovering there for 40 minutes we take train to Opladen & cab back home at 10 minutes past one in the morning. At current state we will reach Cologne at one on the morning of Monday.

have your say

It is being while I posted anything. Friends have asked and some have actually pushed me to update paradox. But honestly there is nothing much to write and talk about. I can still try.

Last two weeks spent in Burscheid were strange and a learning experience. Strange because this is first time I am in non-English speaking country. Burscheid is small village near city of Cologne and Frankfurt in Germany or Deutschland. Before I can introduce you to Burscheid I must tell you something about Cologne. Ofcourse Frankfurt and Germany do need any introduction. Information on Cologne will help you to locate Burscheid on Google Map faster.

Cologne is one of the oldest cities of Germany. If I am not wrong; or from what I understood; it was established as Roman colony on the banks of Rhine river. The name Cologne or Köln is derived from it. It houses Europe’s or probably world’s largest Cathedral known as Dom. Apart from this Dom; Cologne is famous for it scented or perfumed water made from flowers with roman recipe which we all know today as Eau De Cologne.

Burscheid is approximately at 30 minutes drive from Cologne. You can also travel via Die Bahn (DB) using train and bus. DB is Germany’s public transport. Per what we have heard so far there are around thirteen thousand people living in this village. Yes, it is a village, a typically European habitat. With couple of churches, shops, food joints, small and narrow streets, quite and peaceful place to live life after retirement.

The first impression of the place was really horrible. It seems to us as one of the most depressing place on planet. We were extraterrestrial here and the language was alien to us. We landed here on Sunday; and on Sunday most people here observe strict holiday. Markets were closed, there was nobody on the roads and it seemed like whole village has just been robbed or evacuated. There was complete silence all around. It was sea change for all of us; coming from Mumbai leaving behind heard of humans.

The apartment where all of us are put up is probably center of depressing waves in the village. It looked worse than any other house in the village. It is owned by native lady who lives with her mother. It is two story house with couple of rooms which she rents on daily and weekly basis. The house is old and it is in the center of Burscheid village with main bus stop, market and other necessities at few strides. I am sure that every piece of furniture ever bought in the house was never scrapped. In each room there is more furniture than the space for air to breath.

Slowly we started getting used of the place. It was kind of shock for all of us for to live in that place. Out of five, three of us had been to US metros like Chicago and New York, or London in UK and Sydney in Australia. All are English speaking and with considerable Indian and Asian population. Two had come straight from Pune and Chennai with dreams of much talked about western world. I am sure their dreams were thrashed in first couple of hours.

Thankfully everybody in office speaks English. Other day I was wondering. Back in school I was scared English; I used to get jitters on the day of English paper in school. Today I crave for people around me to speak and understand English. It was strange feeling. One thing which we as Indian can learn from Germany or for that matter from Japan, France or Brazil is that you need not compulsorily have to speak English for growth of your country. English has given great advantage to Indians around the world; but definitely at the cost of our native languages.

Now we are accustomed to the pace of the Burscheid and scarcity of space in the house. We have started using DB and have learned to find our way around. Thankfully someone or the other manages to understand us. The funniest conversations we are having with out landlady. While we try to explain her about laundry, payment of rent, getting extra towels, plates, mattresses or toaster. I started recalling my experience in Hyderabad, India when we were struggling with our Telugu speaking landlord and watchman. It used to be hilarious. We would talk abrupt and laugh, and our poor watchman would laugh with us. One of our Gult room mate will then ask him in Telugu, why did he laugh? Did he understand anything? He used to get embarrassed and then laugh again.

have your say

The other day I was returning from a function and a small incident changed a lot of perceptions……. It was a heavily raining day with abrupt traffic movement n irregular n less trains working, so for the returning journey we decided to go with a friend in their car to a certain distance and then take a rick home from that point. At one of the traffic junctions a small girl not more than 6 yrs old was selling jarbera flowers and my friends husdand was like,,,,,,,,’bag kiti lahan mulgi ahey kay honar???’ and he shelled out a 10 rs note to give it to her,it was raining outside and the person on the window seat was contemplating how to give her the note from the window fast ;my instant reaction “arre ek flower toh le,who bheek toh nahin mang rahi hai” but the signal cleared and we moved…….then we started wondering how many times she must have got wet and dried at the same very signal in a single day. What life has in store for her? Will she ever get an opportunity to prepare for a better future?

And then I ponder, what is happening to us, are we getting so indifferent to the plight of social injustice? have we just accepted this growing disparity as a part of the society……don’t know if one should consider ourselves fortunate that at her age we had absolutely no worries no tension just pure fun and enjoyment, undivided n dedicated attention of parents and full scope to equip ourselves for a better tomorrow or someone who just talks n writes about this issues but when it comes to doing something most of us are caught in our own circles and all we do is so called charity. How long can we fool ourself ,no doubt something is better than nothing but superficiality never lasts and things won’t change like this. For now all I can remember is “Charity is the just a cheap substitute for social injustice”…..hope I can do something more than just that.

Lately Orkut is being consistently finding space in world of lurid Indian news and media. Idle political leaders and party workers, heads of religious groups, and news papers/ channels have made Orkut scapegoat to gain TRPs, attention and highlight in media. People, not having great idea about Orkut, always think of it as devilry Internet phenomenon and spoiling the Indian youth. The kind of news stories floating in media will definitely raise eye brows of traditional Indian parent. Stories of girls facing abuse, people blackmailed, hate communities against India, political leaders and parties, and religion make people think that it is definitely some evil of modern day technology.

Recently Mumbai police has forced cyber cafes to block Orkut. I am sure this pressure comes from political circles and so called leaders. Thankfully these forces can not block or ban paper, TV and radio. Thankfully we can not be denied from our right to speak and hear. Our constitution gives us the freedom of expression. The MPs and MLAs we chose are stopping us from expressing ourselves.

If our country can have people performing plays which raise questions against the ideology of Ghandhi; why we can not tolerate a community which is against a particular political party and its leader. This party and leader are afraid as there is probably some truth in those allegations and anger. Followers of Ghandhi could ignore those plays as they knew that ideology of their great leader will not perish or images can not be tarnished with some play.

Other day there was hullabaloo over some “Hate India” community on Orkut. Media and the government went frenzy, they started raising voices and suggestions came to block the website or close it. Why does the country with more then thousands year old civilizations has to worry about the opinion of few hundred people on some website. People had tribulations due to some derogatory reference made against Maratha warrior king Shivaji.

Over all these issue people want to ban the website. How much more idiot one can be? If one news paper reports abusive content against a leader or country, we do not ban the making paper. We do not stop the manufacturing of television and radio stations are not closed. We may stop particular writer of the news paper or stop the show on television and radio.

People who have asked the ban on Orkut have set up the new standards of stupidity. Orkut is medium like any other medium of communication; paper is used by newspaper, books and letters, TV is used by news channels and radio by RJs. The medium can never be evil; the use can be.

First of all why a country or leader has to be worried? The only reason I see is that either the derogatory reference are correct or we are so fragile that we have fear of being perished. I am sure of India as country and Shivaji as leader are not fragile to be worried of few hate communities. I am not sure about the new political parties and their leaders.

P. S.
How can I forget to mention here the fact that this year Orkut has made entry as nominee for the MTV Youth Icon for 2007.

I wanted statement of my account for last six months for applications of visa. Citibank gave me a shock, where I have my salary account; I will have to pay Rs 25 and even than it will be delivered in seven working days.

Are our nationalised banks fools to give us passbook for free and update them as and when wanted? Citibank charges Rs 100 for any activity in branch. To reduce cost it makes sense, discourage customers to come to the branch; and make them use online banking. Catch – the statement is issued online only at the end of quarter. I wanted statement in June (Dec – May), hence wait for July to come for April and May or get statement till March online and pay Rs 25 wait for four business days.

I have account with Chase in Chicago. I get statement every month in email, and it is available online for 2 years. I was always unfortunate with Citibank’s service. They took 7 months to open ERA (employee reimbursement account). There is only one form for regular savings/salary account, ERA, debit and credit card. They made me fill the ERA form 3 times. Do I mentioned the number of follow up emails and phone calls?

Savings/salary account come with free credit card and non existent privilege to say no. Thankfully that credit card never arrived. Pay Rs 200 additional to get your name on debit card. All the banks I know from ICICI, IDBI and HDFC to our nationalised banks do it for free.

Use debit card number, yes the long 16 digit card number to login to Online banking. If you happen to loose the card and do not remember the card number /do not have written on note; give up online banking. Writing down means; additional responsibility to keep safe unless you have computer chip memory to remember it. On asking for regular and user friendly login IDs (like Chase and IDBI) I was denied for security reasons. Do all the other banks ignore our security? How secure it is to have card number floated on the internet every time you login to your account from cafés or public computers?

Lots of petty issues I keep facing with Citibank. Very small number of ATMs; I bet they have more loan shops across cities then ATMs. If you call phone banking; there is no option to speak to their representative. By pressing few incorrect options I got hold of one and learnt that press 9 to reach them. Why this can not be part of your regular menu options? I asked. No answer. This is story of world’s number one bank’s customer service.

Let me do final comparison with IDBI where I had my previous salary account. They provide ATM in the building of my employer in Pune, Hyderabad and Chennai. In Pune we had one IDBI representative visiting our office daily to meet all our needs from regular queries, ATM and Internet passwords, demands drafts, cheques, loans and credit cards bill payments, etc. In every IDBI branch of Pune, Hyderabad and Chennai we get complete attention just by mentioning the name of our employer. We felt most privileged every time we dealt with IDBI. Even today I get the best of response; even though my account is no more salary account.

For some reason IDBI had lagged behind in race with other private banks and they took our business very seriously. I wish one day Citibank become number two, and they will take us more seriously. I wish one day like US I will have freedom to choose the bank for my salary account. Only then all the banks will strive and struggle to provide the best of services as we will have option to choose from the best lot. Amen!!

The long original post.

This is going to be my longest post, and I am not sure if anybody would care to read. But in the moment of despair and my struggle with world’s number one bank I had to throw up some where. What better place then my own blog. One customer’s complain is not going to change the rule and neither one post.

It is very normal that people who travel west; crib and complain in great length about things in India after coming back. We do not have good roads, we do not have clean cities, and we do not have access to basic infrastructure.

I usually have one complain and I crib about it to everybody around me. Customer Service. This is definitely not a problem of our country, but of our people and their attitude towards customer service (and after sales service).

We have never taken customer service as seriously as we should have. People, who pay thousands of rupees for electronic appliances, never get after sales service, maintenance and repair during the warranty and guarantee period. The people who try to get service they deserve often end up with nothing but despair and feeling of being cheated.

Case Study #1

Last December I traveled to Chicago on business assignment. I was given few American Express traveler’s cheques and IDBI World Currency Card (WCC). Traveler’s cheques are very safe and accepted almost everywhere in US. Small problem is large value; they are not handy for small and petty expenditure. WCC is highly safe to carry large amount of cash as it is password protected. But they do not work on regular stores and cash counters as they are not International Debit Cards. It is merely ATM card.

I was lucky to have account with Chase in Chicago, and they have given me the free Debit/ATM card as these days given by almost every other bank in India. My Chase card works in each nook and corner of the country and online without any problem at all. Hence I decided to submit my cheques in these account for ease of use. I also withdrew large sum of money from WCC and deposited the same in Chase account.

When I first I used my card in Chase ATM, it did not work. In adjacent bank branch I reported the issue. After routine verification and verifying my photo ID they checked the status of the card. The new card was issued as BankOne was renamed to Chase, and it was sent to my India address. I never used the card and hence system reported it as lost in transit and locked it.

My immediate response was obvious; I asked them to unlock the card. They said as it is reported lost, it can not be unlocked. I was to receive new card in 5-7 business days. I was annoyed, I will have to wait for 5 days to get new card. But bank executive was ever eager to please me and they issued temporary card on the spot by retaining my password. It was all set.

Few things I admire about Chase are there response time, eagerness to serve and please, their promptness to understand the problem and solve it with speed of light. I had numerous problem related to account and card, but I never actually suffered.

I was victim of fraud in 2005 and charged $9.99 every month for service which was never provided to me. To cancel the service I was asked membership number which I was never issued. Chase not only helped me to track the fraudulent party but also recovered almost half the money which was charged to me. Not to mention that they cancelled the membership and I was not charged anymore.

I can actually fill another page writing about my pleasant experience with Chase.

Case Study #2

Recently to apply for VISA, I needed statement of my account for last six months. I reached the phone banking to ask how to receive this statement and learnt that I will be charged Rs. 25 for statement and it will be delivered to me in minimum 7, yes seven business days.

I would have never called bank if I had to deal with any nationalised banks of India. I can just walk in, get my passbook updated and produce the photo copy for visa. But the great Citibank (India) has only one branch to cater to entire Pune city, and they charge handsome 100 INR to enter the branch and perform any activity. These private banks never issue passbooks or free periodic statements.

Chase sends me copy of my statement in email every month and maintains the same for full 2 years online and very much accessible to me for absolutely no cost. Citibank (India) issues this statement quarterly and only after quarter is over. I wanted the statement in June for last 6 months. But what is available online is only for quarter ending September 06, December 06 and March 07. For April and May I had to request it and pay Rs 25/-. Let me tell you that it will take four business days to receive this statement.

My Citibank account is “Salary Account” against basic checking account in Chase with no minimum balance condition. Every month my salary is credited in Citibank and I pay most of my bills through card from the same account. I have Chase account for 2 years, but I have used it only for 8 months while I traveled. During my stay in India the account is completely inactive. If my Citibank account was not salary account, they would force me to maintain quarterly balance of at least Rs. 5000.

If I can list dozen examples of great service by Chase than I can write more about bad service from Citibank. Along with salary account we need ERA (reimbursement account). The single form has to be filled for two accounts, two debit cards, cheque book and forced credit card. Yes I said forced credit card. While filling the form, I denied for Credit Card, but they said it comes free with account, I said I don’t want it. But I had no option.

It took 7 months and 3 forms to be filled by me to get my ERA opened. Do I mention the number of emails and phone calls I made to follow up? I am so glad that the credit card never arrived. Debit card does not have my name on it, and if I choose to have my name, it will cost Rs 200. All the other banks I know give this card free with name and even some with picture. To login to Online Banking, we have to use card number. Aahhh!!! Long sixteen digit login ID. When I questioned they said it is for security reasons. All the other banks I know provide either unique ID or allow users to choose for themselves. It is only Citibank who is worried about security. If you happen to loose the card and do not remember the card number or have written it some where; which nobody does; you will not be able to login to Online Banking.

I never understood why my employer chose Citibank for our salary accounts. Most IT professionals are used to of either Debit or Credit cards. They use standard online banking features provided by most banks. We all definitely need access to ATM almost all the time. Almost every now and then we run out of money. ICICI or SBI seem to be very good option as they have all the standard features we need and plenty of ATMs across country. Citibank has very few ATMs, I would say 1 or 2 per small cities. In this regard ICICI is obvious choice. All my friends who do not have ICICI as their bank for salary account, they have opened the account with them just to access their wide ATM network across the country.

Lately I was enlightened with truth. I was bugging all my colleagues about evils of Citibank and most had nothing but positive nod. We finally ended up with same question “Why we chose Citi?”. Citi is one of the biggest customer of Indian IT companies, probably just after GE. They have given business to us and in return we are forced to give them business. Our professionals work across the globe 24X7 to meet the high demands of Citi. We never bother about day and night and we have never disappointed Citi to this extent. We got business from them after being in race with dozen other vendors based on sheer competence and cost advantage. But Citi has forced them on us. Hence they would never care for us, quality of service and convenience of customers like us are of no importance.

My first encounter with private bank happened with my first salary account in my first job. It was IDBI Bank. For some reason IDBI Bank lagged behind in the race with ICICI and HDFC after the entry of private banks in country. I think this was the reason they were very serious with all of us. We had best of services from them. ATM in house in all the offices of my employer in Pune, Hyderabad and Chennai. We get unlimited withdrawals free from non-IDBI ATMs to compensate the insufficient network of ATMs across the country. We get DDs, cash in office on single phone call, we can also deposit all our cheque in our own office. For almost nothing you will have the need to visit the branch in office ours. Interest rate on housing, personal and vehicle loan was at 1% lesser then market.

Let me tell you something geek, my current employer has IDBI and HDFC for all their banking needs.

Moral of the story

My problem is definitely not with all banks/companies in India, it is with selected private/public companies. In recent years of Liberalisation and Globalisation these corporations are greatly hyped and glorified for quality of their products and services. To be very honest I rarely had any such experience with any one of them. My case study would include Citibank, Whirlpool, Akai, Philips, etc. I must say that I also had problems with Godrej Appliances and Onida recently. Probably they are imitating their multinational counter parts. None of them barely come close to my experience with Chase, Wall-Mart or ComCast. During my two and half year stay in Hyderabad, Hutch had set up unprecedented example at least for me.

In fact after the entry of few so called great and glorified private banks I have seen and heard about sea change in the customer service of India’s nationalised banks. Corporation Bank is one such example. My dad is customer of this bank for probably 20 years now. He was holding current account with them for the business and later all the personal saving account for our family. In last 20 years he never had complained about Corp. Bank.

I can go on to list examples of the bad service, rude response over the counter and phone. Ignorance of the problems faced by consumers; no service to customers who are sold faulty and low quality goods. No maintenance, repair or replacement during warranty period. These problems have become part of our life like corrupt government and rotten municipal corporations. We don’t feel dejected any more. We are so immune to it that, we hardly care for waste of hard earned money.

I tend to get disappointed every time I travel, I loose my immunity, I see that grass is green on the other side of the earth and this is probably I crib much more then people who are yet to see the better world of customer service in the west.

This is in response to comment, I got on my previous post “can we be wiser than our parents.”

Darshana,

I agree with you that expression is missing in the quest. One primary reason is that we believe and do certain things on face value, blindly, bind either by faith or basic cultural values.

We never question our rituals which are thousand year old. I have nothing against system of caste, language, religion and class. In fact at time I support it. It was required and was necessary when it was created. There was rational thinking and logical reason involved. It had its own advantage. It was created in time when survival was primary concern of any living being including humans. Caste, clan, class, religion and language bound people in groups, and these groups worked together for the welfare of each other.

But today we have reached to level of civilization where the purpose of creating that system is lost or redundant. Survival is not any more an issue. But we still continue to do believe in them.

The reason why we fail to express is that we do not see any need for it. As said earlier, the people are in the quest to make other person happy, they are so blind by their faith and values they do not see the need to understand what will make other person happy. I am sure the parents who love us so much would consider our feelings. They may resist in the beginning, but if we hang on and resist they will definitely understand us.

Another such rule which is not supported by any religion, any caste, country or civilization is that our parents can never be wrong. But it is has still become profound thumb rule to live and lead our lives.

In the fable the man realized that he loved the gal in neighborhood and not fancied. But let us not think that it was same as loving his wife. Falling in love with the gal was far more natural then loving the wife. He loved and liked the gal from his heart and soul, and if relation would have lasted he would have loved her with his mind. He loved his wife with his mind first, he had come to an agreement that he is married and should love his wife. Later his heart and should have drowned.

Sacrifice, it is so highly appreciated and exaggerated in Indian society that half of the people end of sacrificing something without actually understanding the cause/reason of/for it.

If you see some one drowning in the river you must save that person. But you will be able to save only if you know swimming yourself. Otherwise you need to seek help of someone. There is no point in jumping in the river if you do not swimming. It is best example of being foolish and height of stupidity, which has been highly regarded as sacrifice in our country.

Now let us change the equation a bit, the person drowning is your spouse. Will you jump in to the river even you do not know how to swim? I know most Indians will say yes. Rational is nothing but sacrifice. You love someone, and you want to do anything to save that person, you are ready to loose your life, but is sacrificing your own life going save your spouse? If yes then I am all game for that sacrifice.

Just step in to the shoes of your drowning loved one. He/she know that you can not swim, thus can not save him/her. What does that person expect from you now? The person who loves you more than anything else in life; the person for whom your life is more important then anything else in the world. Does your loved want your to jump and get drown with him/her? If you have answer to the questions, you will find answer to lot of other questions.

If your drowning loved one expects you to jump and get drown, knowingly or unknowingly then I must say that they do not love you enough. I think the parents who are blind by their faith in caste system are like these loved ones. If you love some one truly and amply, then boundaries of caste and class will never interfere. Love is and should be unconditional. It should never be obligation.

I had failed despondently that day; I hope I did not fail again today.

Thx,

Ken

P.S. Darshana, I must thank you again for initiating discussion. I hope it would take my understanding of my relationship with my parents to next level.

This is not my new post. It is just paragraph I lifted (or wanted to share with all) from an great essay by Paul Graham. The original essay is on very different subject and has title “Why Not Not To Start A Start Up“

The parents who want you to be a doctor may simply not realize how much things have changed. Would they be that unhappy if you were Steve Jobs instead? So I think the way to deal with your parents’ opinions about what you should do is to treat them like feature requests. Even if your only goal is to please them, the way to do that is not simply to give them what they ask for. Instead think about why they’re asking for something, and see if there’s a better way to give them what they need.

Note: People who do not know Steve Jobs; can think of Bill Gates, Laxmi Mittal or Warren Buffet.

I heard this in some movie or read in a book.

If Siddarth would have listened to his parents, he would have never become Gautam Buddha and if Ram had not listened to his father, Ravan would have never been assassinated and Ram would have never become Lord.

I had very long discussion with friend on this but could not persuade him. Only point we were discussing were was whether to marry against the will of your parents. This problem is more acutely prevailing in India due to multi-religion, multi-language, multi-caste/class population; though it is universal. Typically and traditionally parents do not like their children getting married to some one from different caste, clan, religion or language.

Religion-wise, language-wise, caste/class-wise and demographically we are so different from each other with different culture, rituals, food-habits and life style. No matter how much two individuals love each other; life brings new challenges every day to this relationship. They do not really bother or trouble people who are in love.

Only point I finally made, or was making through my conversation was that our parents want us to be happy, they truly and selflessly love us. Sometimes the whole purpose of their existence is to make us happy. For this sole reason he wanted to live his own life to make his parents happy. Hence, my friend had simple point to make, no matter what, he will never marry or do anything else against wish of his parents.

In this entire quest to make each other happy, we tend to forget that our children or parents will never be happy, if we are not happy ourselves first.

This fable I shared with him to make him understand. There was guy exactly like him who fell in love with a gal in his neighborhood, but he never told this to her. His mind never allowed his heart to express this feeling he had for that gal, not even to his own self. Later she got married; he also got married to a gal his parents found from their caste and social class speaking the same language and praying the same god. Now his mind, heart and soul were free, he first time had feeling and touch of love, he understood it with his heart and mind, and his soul felt that mesmerised touch.

At this point he realized that he had fallen in love with the gal in neighborhood. He realized what his mind rejected at that point to make his parents happy. His heart perceived what he had sacrificed. From this point he could never amply love his wife. He was never completely happy in his life. Sooner or later his parent were to realize the fact that some thing has gone wrong with the life of their son. He lacks something deep within and not able to share this pain.

The parents were convinced now that they have not achieved the sole purpose of their life. But could not explain or find solution as they were completely unaware of the problem. The son could see the pain in their lives, but could not help.

The people who wanted to spent their life in quest to make each other happy are now spending their lives in another quest to understand why the other is not happy.

I did not intend to but ended up with the post.

Last Friday I was traveling to Bombay (Mumbai) from Pune in MSRTC Volvo bus. This days traveling between Pune and Bombay, has become really comfy. Air conditioned Volvo coaches, push back seats, video on the go, free news paper and bottle of water. It is very much like flying. I am waiting for the days, when drinks will be served on board (coach).

Some times these things can actually become a problem, like ACs, at times they are extremely cold for an Indian. Music played can be unbearably loud remix, and crap movies on poor pirated prints. Usually they show cheap comedies, recent flops flicks, or if you are lucky one of the Hindi version of Priydarshan’s (self grinded) Malayalam movie.

Bus and movie started; from the name of presenter and production house I could guess that it will be some masala flick from eighties. There are very few movies worth watching in that era. Movie was Dance Dance, starring Mithun Chakravorty, Smita Patil, and Amrish Puri. All other actors were not worth mention; two are National Award winners and third has bigger repute then heros of most his films. Mithun was dancing star of that era filling the gap created by the likes of Shammi Kapor, Jumping Jack Jitendra and Lover Boy of all seasons Rishi Kapoor. In fact Mithun and Govinda ruled the Nach Baliye stage almost at a same time, Mithun was early entrant just by few movies.

Another name who deserves the mention is Bappi Lahiri. I can still remember the song Halwawala Aa Gaya, only Bappi Da can compose this number, it can be filmed only on Mithun. Another notable song was Zubiee Zubiee, which my friend prompted the moment I named the movie. I was taken aback, how some one can have such sharp memory about this movie and song.

I have really no intentions to discuss the story and morale of the movie. There is nothing worth talking here. After I was done with this journey, the thought stayed on my mind for long. I kept thinking about movies in eighties, those revenge and lost-&-found stories, some hits and great movies of the time are actually considered b-grade today. What was motivating those producers to make them, what was creative inspiration for directors, screenplay writers and story tellers? I have more sympathy for composers and singers of the time.

I truly believe that Bappi Da was never bad composer. Some of his creation was huge hit in those days and they are still considered great. He did not have any choice but to churn those Halwawala numbers with weird Zubiee Zubiee lingo. In fact, I am sure that every time lyric writer failed to place right words in the compositions they forced this words, some actually became folklore. Do you remember Oye Oye and Tamma Tamma? I am sure you do. Have you ever heard single of such word in the works of Gulzar?

While thinking about Mithun, I just checked what is available on the Internet. I was amazed to read what Wikipedia has to offer. According to the source he was Naxal, National Award Winner and star of over 200 movies. I was only aware of his National Award winning performance in Mrigaya. You much check the web site. I found that “Pyar Zukta Nahi” was his biggest commercial hit starring Mithun. He was angry young man of the time, he was also romancing most beauties of time, and he actually worked in some sensible family dramas.

I think the next great post can be about movies in eighties, the formula based stories and screen plays; rock, jazz and pop based music lifted from western world. Unusual lyrics and singers with sound quality more painful to ears then metal rock and Trans. Please suggest some names and themes to discuss. My contribution is “Sone Ki Lanka”

I was toying with this idea for sometime. I was not able to put a post in place for long now. Last one was more of scribble then post. I wanted something new and real. This great idea came to my mind. I do remember a friend of mine has used this idea. He invited friends to write post for him.

Since then I had this on my mind, I was wondering whom should I invite. First few who came to my mind could do good job, but they had their on blogs. Hence it would have become perfect example of copy and paste. We IT guys are very famous for and in awe with copy and paste.

Finally I zeroed on in my most dedicated reader. Some one who is first to read and comment on almost all my posts. Invariably she praises all my post, I am not sure why.

Here it is……

choice, perspective, spirit called life

Very often the dilemma arises; we are at crossroads and have to choose a path. We may ponder a lot and finally start moving, either a strategic planned move or just going with the flow. In any case change is inevitable and then its all about the right choice or just the perspective. Either ways over a period of time with every new experience life changes and so do choices; giving a new meaning to previously defined perspectives.

So what seem perfect, correct and right today could be the biggest mistakes of tomorrow or vice versa. But who cares, let’s not define things in the parameter of right, wrong, mistakes, success. Who are we to judge that, with a limited spectrum that we have. We are not even aware of the other side of the story even with close friends, family and co workers leave alone the larger picture of the world. The one that is beautiful, where everything happens for a reason and there are goodies in store for all of us.

Aaahhhhh!!! Whenever I think on this track, one conclusion always; no judgments, no overboard thinking, no limits no boundaries, just keep the conscience clear and enjoy the journey; the spirit of life.

“Mistakes maybe embarrassing when they happen, success may get into head, attitude may be humble or high headed; but years later all this sums up as experience”; and that makes us the people we are.

Well she was agitated to write anything. She said she has never done this before. But I sure that she can really do great, I am personally very happy with this post. Probably one of the best you ever read on this page.

me: I believe everything u say ..
but then this things r not in ur control..

dreamer: when i say ,,it will be that ways,,,,,,,,,,,,i knw,,,,,,,,,cause i believe………

me: do u believe in God?

dreamer: patah nahin

me: say yes or no,

dreamer: arre its not yes or no for me,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
i do not believe in the wordly definition of GOD
thats for sure

me: then do u believe in the concept called god? its existance?

dreamer: i have a lots of doubts and unanswered questions abt this
but yes i beleive in the existance of goodness,,,,,,,,,,,,it exists in every human being
????

me: not goodness, I am talkin abt god
tell me abt it

dreamer: i told u ,,,,,,,,,,,i do not believe the definition ,,,,,,,,,,,but its easy to say woh hai na,when u don’t want to or can’t manage things.
there r a lot of questions abt our existence,,,,,,,purpose and destination in life?

me: none of them justify existance god..

dreamer: i never said they do

me: so, how do u believe in something which does not exist..

dreamer: thats wht i meant when i said i have a lot of unanswered querries
“faith” is the key word
y don’t u help me ?

me: okay.. then my otrher question.. how can u have faith in something which does not exist, or u not believe in the existence of it..

dreamer: simple,,,,,,,,,if things r not proven it does not mean they do not exist,,,its just that we lack the vision to c them.
let me correct it
i lack the vision

me: hmnn .. so u also believe in UFO’s, Ghost, Super Natural and Life on Mars and Moon and all that?

dreamer: i do not believe in them cause i do not have faith in them,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,well but to be very true to u,,,,,,,,,supernatural,sometimes i do think ho sakta hai,,,,,,,,U knw human mind is very powerful,,,,,,,,,its just who uses it to the maximum possible capacity

me: so it is not super natural then. it is nature who gave us the brain, and all the capacity. so it is just natural thing
if u do not believe in ghost and all, how do u justify ur faith in god. why do u believe in it, if not ghosts..

dreamer: u knw wht,,,,,,,,,,
every human is a combination of (ghost)devil + God
it exists in all of us

me: so now u telling me that, u do believe in ghost?

dreamer: so there is a devil and a god within us,,,,,,,,,,,,and everything then forms a linked cycle around it which in my terms governs the functioning of the universe
Ken tell me one thing
do u believe in life after death
…………………………..

me: not really .. and yes I do.

dreamer: how do u explain that

me: see, if u tell me that someone will die and will be reborn as new human being, then I do not believe in that
but when human reproduce, they pass their DNA, genes, so there is possibility that new growing life will act and behave very much like ancestors. this can be rebirth
like amoeba does. it spits it self in to two new lives.
The ancestor did not die here. it just created two more lives
and continued existing in two forms now. u may call it rebirth

dreamer: that’s formation of a new being,,,,,,,,,wht abt the existence of the old one in its original self?

me: in case of human being, original gets transformed in new forms.. like ash, if burn, and sand if u cremate.

dreamer: that’s the end of the physical body

me: no.. it continues to exist in other forms
dreamer: wht abt the soul
where does that go,,,,,whts its transformation
transformation

me: i do not really know wht the soul is?
It is just ur unconcious brain.. and will ceaze to exit if brain does not exits.

dreamer: so then practically speaking ,this is just chage of form,,,,,,,this is not life after death
this is end of chapter 1 and begining next chapter

me: yeah, we call this transformation life and death to make it easier for all to understand.
chapters are continuation of story.. life after death may not be ..

dreamer: yeah wrong word but u got the meaning

me: yeah .. u can say one book complete and another started

dreamer: hmm
u knw abhi kya khayal aya

me: kya?

dreamer: wish we were like sitting arram se talking ,when we can even look at each other speaking,,,,,,,,,,then this conversation would be at an altogether diff dimension

me: may be u r right .. may be u r wrong ..

dreamer: diff dimension could be in any term
good bad ugly

me: yeah …
then u r right

dreamer: and u knw wht……………………………………

It is being long I logged on to my own page. Nothing much has changed since last post. I went to India and had very good break from miseries. I was suffering in office, in my apartment and in Chicago. In office work was boring; people in the apartment were irritating and in Chicago weather was nasty. It was freaking cold in January and February.

A friend of mine said, I shall write. We were chatting and she found me either boring or bored with life. Here I am to scribble. To be very honest, there is nothing to talk or write about. Life has been very much like what it was in Dec, Jan and Feb. Let us have walk along trail while I am eating trail mix.

February 24th, I returned to Mumbai, India. I was trying hard to convince my manager that I shall not come back. But he was ruthless, and cared about nothing but project and money. I am happy that I did not have work permit otherwise I would have never been able to go back.

I had great time in India. Mom was too happy that I would now stay in Mumbai for at least 3 weeks. Dad was glad that I was trapped for the same time, and he can cage me soon. I could reinvent my friendship with my nephew. Really felt what it means to say kids are bundle of joy. Everybody at home was happy to receive his/her gifts and presents. Some friends were too busy too come and have them. I think now I will save them for myself.

Met old friend from days of college. Finally she broke her resolution not to get married. She found someone who will bear her and she can bear him. I am sure they will be able to live in same house for many more years to come. Wish them good time.

While I was in Sydney I made online friend. I am attached to computers and Internet for long time, made many friends online. I was in touch with many just because of Internet. But she is by far best among all the people I met on the Internet. I can assure a friend for life to myself. She does not judge people, and does not like other people doing it. But she was okay to be judged. But at this moment no value judgments or testimonials. I think one word “friend” is more then sufficient.

Why her mention here? I finally met her in Mumbai. I had always thought that meeting in person is much better then talking to the screen. Finally confirmed it. I knew most of things about her, and she had read my biography on this web log. We had seen each other in photo album. Either this was the reason that I was very comfortable or it was just her presence.

Is there a need to mention what did I do in Mumbai office? Honestly nothing. It was paid vacation at home. Go to office, mark your attendance and come home. Full stop.

Other then office, I did two more misadventures. Misadventures? I met two girls for marriage. My dad had all the initial screen process and they had finally come to point where I should meet them. As usual I said no, without paying much attention. This time it was much easier to say no, as mom/dad did not wanted to resist at all. I do not know why?

On Mar 17th I rode on boat again to be in Chicago. This time knew that I would be relived of weather. Spring has started and I can see lot better Chicago. I do not have carry my winter gear with me. I can walk around, go to the lake, parks, and feel myself.

On the way to hotel from O’Hare, I was talking to cab driver. He was African-American from Nigeria. He was glad to have an Indian passenger as he could discuss Bollywood and Amatab. Yes Amatab. It was Amatab for him. The same guy who acted in Sholey and Shaan, the same guy who dances well, acts well and fights amazingly. He had seen Sholey more times then me. Because we call our self Bollywood, Nigeria calls their movie industry Nollywood.

I was taken aback; Bollywood is not only sold to Indians and NRIs in UK and US. It is famous in Nigeria, Kenya, South Africa, China, Australia, and list is long. I know that Hindi movies are sold across, but this guy was big time fan. He thinks Hindi movies action is too good. The greatest thing about Hindi cinema according to him was song and dance. They are beautiful girls, vivid colors and great dance sequences. He had this another favorite among huge lot Bollywood dancing dolls. Who else will it be? Hema. No Hemamalini. It is only Hema.

I had similar experience with Chinese cab driver in Sydney, that day I was going to Sydney airport. I never take cab otherwise. He was big time fan of black and white Hindi movies of 60s and 70s. PP, my friend told me his white manager in Chicago can sing at least 10 Raj Kapoor songs. His mom, took him to each and every Raj Kapoor movie released. Of course he was Russian. Raj Kapoor was always socialist in his movies at least. The greatest surprise or humor came from Chinese colleague in my last project. His best Indian movie is 6 Acres of Land. Any guesses?

Leaving here. Life after this cab ride is same as I described on my last post.

Past few weeks have been very strange part of my stay here. I am enjoying life, I am not enjoying life. The work in office is completely opposite of what I want to do, and personal life is lot better. Week from Monday to Friday eve is like burden on donkey’s back. I desperately wait for that Friday evening to get lost and run away from office, my roommates, and my professional life.

Then come those happy Friday eves, Saturdays and Sundays when I meet my friends staying away from downtown. Sometime I feel why am I here? I am not adding any great value in office to my work. I just do it as there is not alternative. While working on the PC eyes always stare at the clock on the wall. I wait for 5:30, 6:30, and 7:30. Then all the people will be gone from client’s team and it will be okay to leave with all issues hanging. Run away home, and watch TV to forget that pain. Eat and sleep.

On weekdays I am like a soldier fighting for the loosing side, and waiting for the day to end, war will halted for a night. He finds peace in solace of night. In those silent moments he thinks about his family, kids and friends back home. He curses himself for being part of this war. At least he is lucky, one day war will end. I think mine will never be. I see light at the end of the tunnel. No it is not ray of hope. It is light of the dynamite that will blast any moment, and shatter all my efforts of sustaining all this days.

Happy moments: am I whining too much? I know I am. But there are those happy moments too. I had trip to Vegas last weekend. I am feeling the gap between these two weekends was a lifetime. Dreams do come true. I could not make it to Las Vegas on my last trip to US. I was not ready to loose the second chance at any cost. I did not. I found two wonderful companions to join the Vegas venture.

Here are few snaps – if you are interested. Vegas Vegas deserves brand new post. But most memories of Vegas and my thoughts of that weekend are washed in five days of battle. Is there rewind button for life-DVD-player? Unfortunately not!!

Another hope for life!! Oasis at the sight!! Or may be mirage!! Only time will conclude the story. I am going back on Feb 24 to
India. Per information given to my onsite manager I am going for two weeks. Per my negotiations with PD at offshore I can not come back. Per my discussion with PD in Pune, I do not want to be back.

This visit has become jumble of happy and sad moments. Perfect life, with all my imperfections!! Nothing seems to be working, I am still striving to be happy and I am still not really sad. I think I am homesick. I have lost sense of direction. I am not doing things which I really want to do, and I am really doing things which I never wanted to do.

Colleague of mine is ill; it added some burden to my daily work. Only thing which comes to my mind is why is he sick? I have to walk that extra mile to save our faces from client. Still at the end of the day, what we all are left with is plenty of criticism. We all are whining about situations. Nobody wants to do any thing to make things better, and every body feels very strongly that he has played his part for the day. Still play has not moved; audience is irritated at us. They have paid huge price for the show, their patience is our key to success, and at ever day in morning in 8:30 meeting they are loosing it piece by piece.

I did not even care to visit my colleague as I was scared to get infection. I knew we can not afford to have another fallen soldier. Finally on Friday, I dropped the plan to go to night club, and with complete disheartedness (I know this is not English word) and with full of unwillingness I went to hospital to be with him, as there was no body else available. Till 12 am only thing at the top of mind was that what will happen if I get infection. Finally doctors diagnosed him for malaria at 12 in the night.

Malaria is not infectious disease but, the poor guy will suffer for another week. He will spend of all his savings of past few months. He would have to think 10 times before he can think of party or having fun. His parents back in India are anxious to know how their beloved son is doing. I spoke to his father today afternoon. I used to think fathers are strong. No they are not, especially when they do not have sight of their son. My father is anxious for me too. He thinks that I am suffering from another disease. Nausea to marriage!!