paradox

arrange-marriage, arrange marriage, arrange marr(y)i age, arrange m(ent)arriage ….

Can some body help me to spell, pronounce and understand this word. I tried Google too for it, even it failed. Check out the link if you do not believe me. Google!!! God! even Google failed to define the word arrange marriage; I guess only you can help. But they say that god helps only to those who try to help themselves. So here I go on mission impossible; unfortunately without those beautiful babes who help agent Ethan Hunt. (bad joke )

Traditionally it is “arrange marriage”. It means arranging the marriage of two people, two lives, and two families. I said, traditionally, so it is between two people, one male and another female. We are not far from time when there will me marriage arranged between 2 males. This was on lighter note, to be serious it is greatest institution of human life, especially in India.

Also let me make one thing very clear about this post. It is purley about arrange marraige, and not marriage or love marriage. Neither do I have experience of marriage or love marriage. In my short life I have had only face-off with process arrange marriage, that too only half stage. Becuase I am yet not married. Feeling like god!!!  

Like all the guys on the earth, I went to school, had my basic education there. Then I went to college and did my graduation. As we all know graduation does not land you a job, so I did diploma in computer programming. Finally, I found job, for which I lived my 22 years. This is my perspective that I am computer professional, but for the world outside, especially in my niche clan, I am eligible bachelor. From their perspective, I did not live my 22 years life to get a job, but to get a wife. Irony of life.

Let us come to point guys, I waste lots of time before I start saying what I exactly intend to say. (You check all my posts. I am sure you do not have time for that.) Let us try to understand some difficult words I scribbled in the beginning of the post. In routine and all the normal cases; there is boy, working, from good family, and has values. There is also girl, working/homemaker, again from good family with good values. There is an intermediary, who knows both the families. Don’t ask me why? This middle-man is completely different from agents, stock brokers or middle-man. Really!!

arrange marriage/arrange-marriage – This word has most decent meaning in my mind, also this is most decent way of getting married if you fail to fall in love. It was for me too, till I actually got into the mud. On paper it looks very good arrangement; which is working for ages in India. This is fine at least because boy and girl are ready for marriage and their consent matters.

arrange marr(y)i age - This meaning came from last line of arrange marriage understanding. This one is not really very different from the previous version. The major difference is that you forced or pushed into the pool full of alligators because you have reached the marriageable age. The boy/girl in most cases are hardly clear on the idea of getting married. Do they really want this relationship? Are they mature to handle it? Most think that if you are financially capable of taking care of family then you are ready for it.

For me this idea is so irritating and frustrating, without any physical or mental need you are pushed in. In most cases due to our great Indian tolerance relations last. In some case they are fine with each other, comfortable to live together, and some lucky couples fall in love too (definitely with each other). God bless these people.

In most cases due to our great Indian tolerance relations last. It is these people whom our parents and grand parents should thank for keeping the institution alive. But all the problems crop when people tend to get vulnerable with their emotions and actions. People litterally make fool of themselves. This usually happens for rich eligible(s), beautiful brides or socially famous families. Often people mistake that these are the good parameters to judge people. Are they really? Again let me tell you, I am talking about the problems which happen when the arrangments are in work-in-progress status.  

arrange m(ent)arriage – As the words describe, it is more of an arrangement then marriage. Keeping asides likes and dislikes of boy and girl and their agreement; ignoring their needs a third persona actually puts them in relationship which is later called marriage. They are husband and wife now. Probably for money or power or social status. Life of bride and groom becomes hell later, as they never wanted this to happen. In lot of cases boys/girls are ready for this arrangement, may be because there are some deficiencies with individual or financial status or any such thing. The worst part of this marriage is that husband and wife never fall in love.

I have myself not seen hunderds of girls or I am not talking out of an experience of lifetime. My wisdom is outcome of what I saw in my 6/7 meetings, heard from different friends, stories of uncles and aunties, etc.

Let me tell you the latest incidence. I appologies to my friends for sharing his personal affair here. His family received proposal of girl for him. God know who prepared the bio-data of that girl. She had not only mentioned her personal characteristics and education; but also had given account of her computer skills like she knows these blaa blaa computer applications, languages, etc.

Ohh god.. please explain it to me, what freaking need was there to mention them. This is just one example. Can you imagine propsal coming of girl who works as secretary, and her typing speed mentioned in bio-data?

Let me give you another shot. Girl declined for arrange marriage. Can you imagin a reason? They went for lunch to have traditional indian cusine. The banana was served after the meal. The guy peeled of the whole banana and then ate it, instead of peeling it in parts. According the girl boy was immature and uncivilized. At least give better excuse for sake of mercy.

Other day my friend decline to meet at hangout place. Gang of idiots had arrived to his house to meet him. The girl’s father asked very appropriate questions. Why did he stopped your studies? My friends gave a decent answer. But the best part is that my dear (poor) friend is chartered accountant. Hell…. Ain’t you suppose to know in advance that guys is f***ing CA. You are there to marry your daughter with him.

There are hunderds of such stories to share. But what is the point?